Random Thoughts
by Anime Psychologist
Summary: Perviously known as 'a collection of poems.' Includes poems, oneshots and my two cents. Please R&R.
1. Heroic Failure

Hello and I welcome you to my ever first poem. Anyways, like the summary says this poem is really some sort of ranting about the aftermath of Chrono Crusade and what I thought about Rosette. Either you enjoy it or you don't, it doesn't really matter.

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**Heroic Failure  
**

* * *

_To partake in an effort to defy the inevitable _

_Thus separating us from the wise from the foolhardily_

_That is how heroes and heroines are born_

_Not by man and woman_

_But by the Order of God_

_  
She was born a human and died a Saint_

_She had died fighting for a cause that was right to her_

_Did she?_

_To make an enemy in order to cover up her human responsibly was a rightful cause to her?_

_To her it is retribution._

_To others, it is self denial_

_  
To her friends, they only saw her side of light_

_To her enemies, they only saw her side of darkness_

_To other they see both light and dark in her and we question them_

_Are they Gods?_

_Are they Devils?_

_  
She was strong. She was brave._

_She was weak. She was a coward._

_She was right. She was successful._

_She was wrong. She was a failure._

_Such things are never thought by all who knew her._

_Such is the role of all humans. We are born, we live and we die. _

_She is no exception._

_  
What she hoped for did not happen._

_In the beginning it was possible to save the one she loved._

_In the end, however, it was proven impossible and our perception had changed_

_What we feel is what we feel_

_Do we feel sadden?_

_Do we feel remorse?_

_  
For now, we only think._

_Think about our feelings about her and what had transpired _

_To her friends she was a Saints of Saints_

_To her enemies she was a force to be reckoned with._

_However to me? She was that of a heroic failure. _

_  
I'll tell you why I think this._

_Why this is my perception of her._

_It is because of her false accusations and anger that had blinded her to the truth_

_These were the instruments of her demise._

_  
Thus being said, I hope you can all understand why I feel this._

_To some they have experienced her feelings; they only see the one side of her truth_

_To me, I see she had experienced this in a different way. Vis-à-vis with love._

_Love for her family and love for her lover_

_Love is proven to be the most powerful weapon and it is in that sense that it was her own undoing_

_  
I now leave you with two things. _

_One, with revolution comes sacrifice. If you cannot accept that, you deserve to die with your enemies_

_The other…dreams like hers are nothing more than an illusion. _

_Not all people can be saved_

_It is in these two sentences that may have changed her life…_

_In one way or another_

_

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_

If you haven't noticed, I inserted my own thoughts about her. I hope you don't mind. Anyways, now that it is say and done, please R&R and tell me what you think about it.


	2. Life of a Sinner

You have just ventured unto my second poem. Congratulations. Anyways, this poem is…well…self explanatory. It is basically the summary of the whole Chrono Crusade series through the eyes of one of the characters. Guess who it is….

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**A Life of a Sinner**

* * *

_Darkness._

_  
The coming of a being in a world long condemned by God,_

_Becoming something that has branded his kind by the other existences as evil,_

_To us humans, the thought of freedom and choice is within our grasp and we take it,_

_To him, however, there is only direction and order._

_  
Darkness, white._

_  
Being an outcast to his fellow race,_

_However respected and feared by them,_

_One however sees his true self,_

_And thus a friendship begins._

_  
Darkness, white, head._

_  
However that friendship is put to the test,_

_A test that will brand him as a criminal in his own world,_

_He seeks freedom, he seeks peace,_

_So he does the will of his friend and disrespects the thing that is scared to his people._

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood._

_  
In order to protect the scared object,_

_They attack him and he becomes angry with them,_

_Why are they attacking him? He only wants peace._

_Finding no peaceful resolution, he fights them off._

_He kills and the number of kills is that of a hundred million._

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman._

_  
He runs with a group of others, far away from the people that tries to kill them,_

_Months, years pass and his friends orders the capture of a woman,_

_He does this and they feel compassion at first,_

_He maintains a relationship with her…one that is riddled in love._

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns._

_His friend soon has no use for the woman so he orders him to kill her,_

_He disobeys, he is angered,_

_They fight, he loses,_

_His power is then taken away._

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch._

_  
Before one of his former friends created something in order to maintain energy,_

_However it requires a human to use,_

_In time, the human will die,_

_However, the woman who loved him, gracefully accepts_

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb._

_  
She died. There her tomb laid in the forest,_

_He stood there, idly by guarding it,_

_She had no better, she had no equal,_

_That was the truth, until they came._

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini_

_Two children opened the tomb,_

_One male, one female,_

_They introduce themselves, he does the same,_

_They become the best of friends_

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket_

_They spend each day with each other,_

_Learning, playing laughing,_

_He couldn't stop them, he was living his dream_

_He was at peace…for now._

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle_

_The boy falls ill, he was always ill,_

_Now he was going away,_

_The girl is saddened and she goes to him for remorse,_

_It was only a matter of time when an old friend came a knocking_

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua_

_  
The eagle, who is his former friend, offers to be his friend again, he flatly refuses,_

_His former friend offers him his powers again, he flatly refuses,_

_His former friend tells them that he offered his powers to the boy, who graciously accepts_

_They make haste to his position and what they find is not pleasant, not pleasant at all_

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract_

_  
They arrive, but they are too late,_

_The others are dead, or so it seems,_

_The boy is gone and he couldn't do anything,_

_Without his power, he is nothing,_

_So the girl, gracefully offers her energy_

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract, time_

_Time is a luxury that some cannot afford,_

_For the girl, she is limited,_

_For him, he waste no time to search for the boy,_

_They search long and hard,_

_They meet friends and some going to the same goal_

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract, time, Azmaria_

_They soon meet a little girl, a singer,_

_Her voice is the envy of all,_

_She is one of God's little ones,_

_After events, she becomes friends with them._

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract, time, Azmaria, Statella_

_They meet a strange woman, she has an accent,_

_She looks for something that is special to her,_

_She uses a jewel as a weapon,_

_Once rivals now becomes friends. _

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract, time, Azmaria, Statella, pursuer_

_After a while, they travel to a place far away,_

_A few days later there was a knock at the door,_

_At the door, there was someone sent by the people to get him,_

_However he offers his allegiance to him_

_They are after the same goal. _

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract, time, Azmaria, Statella, pursuer, Stigmata_

_While this transpires, she receives her marks,_

_The marks pains her, as it pained Jesus,_

_However it was for the good of all, for the good of the boy,_

_So she kept her tears and her pain silent _

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract, time, Azmaria, Statella, pursuer, Stigmata, set-up_

_The little girl brings them to a place,_

_A place of fun and relaxing,_

_They feel at peace, they feel at home,_

_This, however, was short-lived_

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract, time, Azmaria, Statella, pursuer, set-up, Stigmata, homecoming_

_The boy returns, the girl shocked,_

_The boy doesn't remember her, his former friend is with him,_

_She tries to kill the girl, the boy tries to kill the girl,_

_And thus the series of events began _

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract, time, Azmaria, Statella, pursuer, Stigmata, set-up, homecoming, atonement_

_  
He is down, shot by the boy,_

_She goes to him, the apostles gather,_

_A sphere descends, she goes and destroys it,_

_A pillar of light, she is stripped, battered and defenceless. _

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract, time, Azmaria, Statella, pursuer, Stigmata, set-up, homecoming, atonement, saint_

_A few days after, she and his former friend are left,_

_It was all about her, all for her,_

_She gives up, there is nothing she could do,_

_She could only do and obey_

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract, time, Azmaria, Statella, pursuer, Stigmata, set-up, homecoming, atonement, saint, Rosette_

_He finds his friend, he finds her,_

_He fights him, he his defeated,_

_She then tries to shoot, but then she stops,_

_She is back to her former self, his friend is defeated,_

_There is no more to do_

_  
Darkness, white, head, blood, woman, horns, watch, tomb, Gemini, picnic basket, eagle, Joshua, contract, time, Azmaria, Statella, pursuer, Stigmata, set-up, homecoming, atonement, saint, Rosette, death_

_And so as the end draws near, they live in seclusion,_

_They separate themselves from the others,_

_She is scared but then faces the music,_

_They hold hands and they finally die. _

* * *

Wow, five pages. I guess you wouldn't call it a poem. Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed it. Please R&R and no flames. (Don't like em') 


	3. The Grim Future

Wow, I haven't updated in a long while. Anyways, this is a short story about Rosette and a boy she met in her dreams. The story may in fact tie in to the other story, Chrono Crusade: Horns of Time. Anyways, enjoy.

By the way, this story is done to Rosette's Point of View.

Don't own CC.

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**The Grim Future**

* * *

I had a dream. I was in a room. The room was dark…very dark. I was sitting on a chair…all alone. 

It was cold. Why was I here? What was I suppose to do?

There was a light. There was a boy. He was roughly the same age as me. He had black hair, brown eyes that were gentle but cold. He was dressed in black. He came towards me. I remember being scared and at the same time curious about this boy. Our eyes met.

"Who are you?" I asked.

The boy didn't speak of his name. He just stood there…quietly. Then he asked me, "Would you like to see…the future."

"The future?" I asked him. "Why?"

He asked me again, "Would you like to see the future?"

Was I supposed to see the future? Yes? No? There was no definite answer for me. After a while, I replied to his question. "Yes…I would like to see the future."

He gave a bow and then snapped his fingers. The dark room began to become brighter and brighter. Then there were shouting. Lots and lots of shouting. When I opened my eyes, there were people running about, holding pieces of paper and shouting with it at each other. The papers littered the ground.

"Where are we?" I asked the boy.

"Stock market," he replied to me. "The date: Tuesday of October, 1929. This day is known as Black Tuesday. The end of the golden age in this nation and the start of the Great Depression."

"The Great Depression?"

"An economic slump lasting about 10 years. It will affect the entire world."

I didn't know how important the stocks were at the time. I knew that our money was coming from somewhere but I didn't care. The Order took care of all of my necessities. I watched how the countless men and women ran around; shouting at each other, wavering those pieces of paper in their hands like crazy people. I didn't know how to make sense of any of it.

"How does it end?" I asked the boy. He then snapped his fingers and the people disappeared. It was black again. Then it became a mixture of grey and white. I then realized that we were floating above the sky. There was also smoking coming from the ground…and the smell of gunpowder. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself in the middle of a battlefield. People screaming, shooting and I ducked from the shots. However none of the shots got to me…they just went right through. We walked through the battlefield.

"The world at war…again," the boy commented.

"Again? The world is at war again?" I couldn't believe it. After all we've been through during the Great War, we were doing it again?

"World War II. We resort to violence in order to solve our issues."

Why? Why was the world at war again? I couldn't understand it. All the senseless violence and destruction. Nobody wanted that…I didn't want that.

"The Third Reich started this war."

"The Third Reich?"

"Also known as Nazi Germany."

"You mean we're fighting the Germans again?"

"That's right. However this war is far more worse than the last one though."

I then shouted at the boy. "We're killing the same way only with different machinery! How can this war be any worse than the last one!" Then I smelt something other than gunfire. I couldn't put my finger on it. It was something burning but it wasn't something I smelt before. I closed my eyes to find out what the smell is. I couldn't. When I opened my eyes I found something horrible. We were in the middle of burning bodies. It was horrible…how could anyone do these things?

"What is the meaning of this!" I yelled at him. The boy just stood there.

"This is the cost of war. Human hatred, despair and greed manifested in action and in physical form. The people responsible wanted their country, no, the entire planet purified and reserved for only one race…their race."

I was at a lost for words.

"However we all have a part to play. Instead of finding ways for peace, we fight until no one is left standing. That is the role of war. To destroy the weak to make room for the strong. It is that very principle that these people are following."

I watched how the soldiers dumped the dead bodies within the fires. As they brunt, the soldiers didn't give a care. I couldn't take it anymore…

"I've seen enough…Please take me away."

The bodies, the smell and the fires disappeared but then followed with a bright light. We were again floating in the sky. As we sailed through the blue skies, I wondered more about the war. How did it end? How did it work out? We saw more images from the skies. We saw soldiers raising a flag on a hill… we saw countless ruins of buildings…we saw people crying and weeping. The only words to describe this sight was destruction and chaos. My heart sank as we saw more people fighting, more bloodshed and more destruction.

"Why are you showing me this!" I yelled at the boy who was looking with me. "Is this what the world is going to go through! Why!"

"Why? Because us humans will make the same mistake over and over again. We will falter over our own ignorance and greed and we will fight over petty things. That is our fault…that is human frailty."

Everything vanished and we were back in the black, empty space that we started in.

"You too are subjected to this…human weakness. You, of all people should know this feeling. However you don't call it frailty…you call it denial. You put it to good use no matter what the odds are."

"And those images? Why did they represent?"

"They represented the future you wanted to see. That was only a glimpse of the future that humanity is destined to walk upon. Would you like me to show you the rest?"

I answered the boy. "No…"

"No?" the boy questioned me. I didn't want to see anymore. If the future will present itself like this then I didn't want to know.

"Are you frightened of the future? Are you scared of what you might see?"

"No more. I don't want to see any more. Burning bodies, blood, people suffering…"

"And you can't do anything about it, can you. You cannot stop it. Funny…it's just like that time four years ago…"

"What?" Did the boy know my past as well?

"You had lost the ability to fight back. If your brother wasn't so jealous of your good fortune and happiness things wouldn't have been the way they are now. Such an unfortunate boy…"

How could he have known? It seemed that he knew everything about me. Why was he doing this? Why was he doing this to me! He snapped his fingers again and this time the room was white. Then screens appeared and each of them played something different. On one screen was a man who was giving off a speech among the crowds. Another screen showed government officials debating with each other. I also saw people wearing different things, new buildings coming from the ground up. More battles, more bloodshed, more people getting hurt. More buildings, more structures. It was overwhelming.

"What is all this?" I asked the boy.

"This is the future. This is progress. It happens though the lessons that humans remember."

I kept looking on the screens. Suddenly all the screens turned off…all except one. I looked upon it and it showed of a boy who looked familiar. He was working on something…he was punching in something with his fingers and kept looking at the thing in front of him. He looked like…he looked like…

Another man, chubby with a black mustache came over to him.

"Joshua, where's that paper!" the man yelled at him.

"Sorry Mr. Gravin, I'm just printing it off right now…"

"I want it in 10 minutes. Get to work!" he stormed off.

As I watched the screen, my heart was racing. Was that really Joshua or another person with the same name. The screen turned off and I looked at the boy.

"The future can present a lot of things. A lot of surprising things…" I did see a lot of things. Some of which couldn't be explained and some of them could be explained. I wonder what happened to my friends…my brother…Chrono. The lights dimmed and I was left in the dark once again.

I was left alone…only the voice of the boy was all I could hear.

"Was that Joshua that I saw?" I questioned the nothingness.

"Well that depends on what you think you saw…"

"Who are you? For the last time, who are you?"

The boy's face showed itself. "I am someone who has been keeping an eye on you for so long. I am someone who would like you to see what kind of future you are leaving behind."

"Do you know me?"

"I know about your past. I know about your present. However I don't know about your future because you have no future."

"Are you…God?"

"No."

"Then what are you?"

"An agonist, my dear. An agonist. Do you know who they are?"

"What's is an agonist?"

"They are people who enjoy the pains and sufferings of others. If I was God, would I enjoy your pain? No. I would cry. I enjoy your pain. Therefore I am not God."

"Why do you enjoy my pain? What did I ever do to you?"

"It's all about you, isn't it? All about you. It is for that exact reason. It is because of looking after your own needs that the incident occurred. Then you try so desperately to rectify that mistake so you can act like it never happened. You are someone who thinks about her own needs instead of the needs of others while keeping the appearance that you are helping others for no gain at all. You're a hypocrite."

I had enough. Enough of the boy's voice. He showed me the future and what will happen and what he showed me was awful.

"I don't care what you think of me. I don't care about what your thoughts are. As long as I keep doing the things that I do, I will make this world a better place. That I assure you."

The boy's face disappeared. He whispered as he left, "foolish sentiments. You will be making choices that will end in your defeat."

"But they are my choices. That all that matters. As long they are right to me, they are good choices."

"Choices…Choice is an illusion created between those with power and those without."

I awoke to some chatter. I was back inside my own bedroom and Chrono was there over me.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me. "We were scared when you collapsed all of a sudden."

"I'm fine," I reassured him. "I'm just fine." Was it all a dream. Will it really happen? And what of the boy? So many questions but I didn't want to answer any of them. I just wanted to sleep.

* * *

Sorry for this. 

It was a random thought, really. You see the boy you just read about and who interacted with Rosette is in fact a psychological manifestation of…well…me, the author. I wanted to do this for a while now but didn't really know how to go around it. Dreams are a good way to do the impossible and being a manifestation you can do whatever you want.

Mind you that I agree with the agonist thing to a certain extent. That's my view and if you choose to flame me for it I won't blame you. Just keep it to a minimum. I hope that you enjoyed this little…story.


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